I live in a quiet area of the city…but at 3am I can’t believe how noisy it is…the fridge, with water pumping somewhere within it’s depths as ice cubes drop making room for the water to freeze and make more. The furnace comes on once in awhile…in between the auger turning and grinding, as the pellets clink into the burn pot of the pellet stove….hmmmm. Is that alliteration? I am too tired to know.
No TV, radio or stereo are on…the things that purposely make noise…no lights are on, save for that from my computer screen as I type…wishing I could sleep.
Things go through my head…I worry about things…pointless things…the worry is pointless….court cases, houses selling, moving and downsizing…wanting somewhere warmer, but not sure where…leaving/staying…wolves in the city…lost dogs in these frigid temps…kids that live near yet I seldom see…kids that live far away that I seldom see….neutoric dog, overworked husband, retirement….oh lord…mother, sisters, friends….all growing older, having more health issues. Silly things I see on line, improbable, impossible, iconic, idiotic things. Things this government is doing to systematically destroy our country…nothing good, nothing positive there…makes me angry…no makes me furious….
List of stuff to sell, to keep, to move, to store….lists of things to do, to build, to fix, to buy, lists of passwords, lists of lists.
Look out the windows but no aurora, too cloudy. Wondering why I sleep so well at the cabin but not here. Perhaps because it’s where I hang my heart, although anywhere my love is is ‘home’.
Thinking of choices…decisions in the making….make sure you get it right this time.
Smiling as I think of friends recently reconnected. Feeling joy thinking of friendships nearly as long as my life. Sadness of friendships ended, but understanding it needed to happen.
Going over the list of blessings in my life and knowing first hand the changes gratitude can make.
Mulling over things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things and prioritizing those that do.
Solving the problems of the world, yet unable to solve 34 Across.
Wondering why the sandman no longer enjoys my company. Wondering why the light from the waxing moon likes it so much.