Shifting the Paradigm

It’s true. The older you get, the faster time seems to pass. My Vulcan, logical side tells me that isn’t actually the case, but the human side of me sees the hands of the clock speed up with the turn of each calendar page. The emotional part of my brain panics but the rational part tells me that what’s important is to not let time pass YOU by.

Breathing in each moment, being present…it all seems to make so much sense but it’s more difficult than we realize. For all that we want to live in the moment, life happens in the peripheral vision of our days and can’t be ignored. All any of us can do is the best we can.

We are all under so much pressure. To be more than. To reach higher. To go faster. We need time to just be. To take in. To savour. To breathe.

We are bombarded every second of every day by negativity and fear mongering …all about things that ‘could’ happen. And all the while negative and fearful things are happening.

But there are also wondrous, joyful and spectacular things happening in our world, in our communities, in our lives. Some days we need to spend more time sifting through all of noise and darkness to find the quiet and the light.

2017 was a difficult year. Still coming to terms with the loss of someone dear six months prior, and then in June, we once again were hit hard by the accidental death of another we held close. Like a son these past 20 years. So young…not quite 50…it tore our hearts out…for our own loss, but as much for his young wife and child.

Prior to that I had gone through a difficult spinal surgery and the recovery hasn’t been as quick or easy as I had hoped. There were sick mothers we worried about, siblings that weren’t well and all of the sorts of things that life slaps you with when you aren’t watching.

But, like yin and yang, there was balance. My back issues weren’t terminal, our mothers both get to turn the page on another year, and we were blessed with another precious granddaughter on June 1st. Harlow Grace. A beautiful name for a beautiful child. In between was the normalcy of life.

I have learned over the years to give thanks as soon as I open my eyes each day, for that small simple act, one we all tend to take for granted, is denied so many.  Life truly is good. Sometimes we just need a gentle reminder of that.

And so, as I have for the past several years, I have spent the past few weeks thinking about what my guiding word for 2018 would be. And, as in every year prior, the word chose me.

I commit to being more present. More positive. I commit to spending more time doing the things I enjoy….with the people I love. I commit to taking better care of my own health, physical, emotional and spiritual. I commit to removing myself from relationships that seek to break my spirit and damage my soul. I commit to being the change I want to see in the world. I commit to living my life in a more joyful, appreciative space. And I commit to nurturing my passion: writing.

So as 2017 ends, I want to shift the paradigm. My paradigm. Rather than looking back at 2017 with sorrow and regret, I look forward to 2018 with joyful anticipation. Baby steps.