Television has always been a mystery to me. Like my great grandmother before me, I still don’t understand how they get the pictures in the box.
My daughter would tell you that I am electronically challenged….which may be a stretch. I can perfectly well set the digital clock on the microwave thank you. I no longer have to on the VCR because we don’t own one any more. Ok, on occasion, I may have to phone her and ask how I get the TV to show the DVD I’m trying to watch, but electronically challenged? PLA-EASE!
I have come to the conclusion that the term “Smart TV” may be the greatest oxymoron of the 21st century. I also don’t understand the criteria used for naming channels and the programming shown on those channels. Most are paradoxes.
Take, for example, TLC, or The Learning Channel. When we subscribed, I thought it would be a channel I’d really enjoy…learn something new everyday is how I sold my sweetheart on it. How motors work, how styling foam goes from a liquid to a foam when you push the button on the can. It’ll be great!! Brain exercise I said! You know my motto…a day where you learn something new is a day not wasted. Heck, we might even finally be told the secret of how they get the caramel in the chocolate bar!!
Duh!!! As Forrest Gump said, ‘stupid is as stupid does.’
IF I were to chose to watch TLC, which I rarely do, I wouldn’t learn any of those things mentioned above…or, in my opinion, anything else worth knowing, except perhaps for a game of Trivial Pursuit in the category of Entertainment (TV).
Instead, I could learn how to cope with 19 kids, totally irrelevant in my life (blessings come in all forms!!).
I could find out what not to wear, rather than what to wear….something a good honest look in the mirror will tell me if I can be objective enough to get over my love of that flannel lined plaid shirt that my sweetheart calls my “Columiban drug trafficker shirt”…which begs the question what columbian drug trafficker wears pastels?
There is a show called “Sex Sent Me to the ER” that might be interesting…or gross. TMI (Too Much Information) is my biggest fear, so think I’ll take a pass.
Then we have A&E, Arts and Entertainment. I think they forgot the art bit…and yes I know art is in the eye of the beholder and all that, but come on! “Duck Dynasty”? Really? (I know, given the popularity of the show I run the risk of being inundated with hate mail on the comment section of my blog…I’ll take the chance.)
“Storage Wars” (pick your state, town or subdivision and add to the title…they can all be found here). Okay, to give this one the benefit of the doubt, maybe this is where the art comes into play. Perhaps an original Van Gogh, or a Beatles song draft, hand written by one of the fab four, on the back of a cigarette package might turn up. Could happen.
The History channel! Now, we’re getting somewhere! Surely “Canadian Pickers” will turn up treasures of historical value….or not. But there are some cool finds according to dear hubby who follows it faithfully.
We all know that reruns of one of my favourite shows…”M.A.S.H”. ….are historically accurate, especially those scenes between Frank Burns and Hot Lips Houlihan.
“Ice Pilots NWT” while set in the current day in my town, touches on history, with the shows main character…the DC3 airplane….and of course “Ancient Aliens” is fodder for those of us old enough to remember Roswell and/or Shag Harbour…or Jim Jones and the kool-aid…
Maybe it’s just me, but I want my entertainment TV shows about reality to be fiction. I don’t need voyeurism, classism, or any other ‘isms’…except escapism. Take me away Calgon®!
I enjoy the Documentary channel, and a lot of what’s on Knowledge and PBS…but mostly I think the TV executives have really dumbed it down. Even ‘news’ programs have taken on the flavour of tabloid ‘journalism’ .
So yes, TV remains a mystery to me, but so does the human need to know what boo-boo Honey is dealing with today, or why, and how, the Kardashians took over some city…was it a coup(e)…or just a soft top convertible?
Now if you were to ask me how Mork came to earth, or why A.L.F. and Mr. T were so successful, I’d refer you to Q….not with Jian Ghomeshi…but of Star Trek legend…because I can’t answer those mysterious questions either.
Live long and prosper.
offthecuffbyplnear 