Close the Door Behind You

2014, you came to kick my ass didn’t you? You were a wild ride and there were times it was difficult to hang on.

I had no idea…so full of hope and optimism as 2013 ended. Tremendous highs…we squeezed in a trip to visit our older son, daughter in heart, and our grandchildren in Australia; received the gift of our third granddaughter a few days before Christmas; we sold two huge houses that had become a drain on us emotionally, spiritually, and financially.

Debilitating lows…we lost two dear friends; felt the pain as a dear friend lost her son; grasped for answers when our niece’s husband was gone too soon.

In between, we had waves of mediocrity, melancholy, mayhem, and madness. We worked hard, cried too much, played a bit…and laughed. Oh, how we laughed!

2014, you did your best to kick us when we were down, to hold our dreams at bay, and to break our spirits. It didn’t work.

We never gave up hope that things would work out; that all things happen for a reason, even if we don’t know what that might be in the heat of the moment, swallowed by grief and sadness.

There were days when we thought the world had gone mad…inclusive of our own country. Just when our faith seemed misguided, misplaced or lost, a story restored it…yes, often, even raised it…and we were grateful.

Messages came in the way of feathers in my path, candles refusing to burn, whispers on the wind…and believe it or not….wolves at the door. A pack. Almost literally at the door!

Some days were easier than others, some more difficult…like today, the last of 2014. Saying farewell to my girls; my daughter, granddaughter, and our grand dog today left me a mess of tears, fears and worries. Thrilled for them, terrified for me, as they begin a new path in their own journeys.

Through it all, I tried to listen to the message. The lesson. I didn’t always hear what I hoped or wanted to, but I found myself more tuned in and grateful than ever before.

I never stopped believing that in everything there is a purpose. As the year flew by, more often than not one word kept creeping into my consciousness. I began to notice it popping up in conversation, in articles and books I read, in my thoughts and in my musings. As usual…my One Word chose me … 

I believe in dreams, in truth, and in kindness. I believe in courage, compassion, and love. I want to believe in the future, in justice, in equality and freedom. I need to believe more in myself, my intuition, my purpose and possibilities. I must believe in miracles, in magic and in enchantment. I wonder if I believe in ‘life after death’, in extraterrestrials, in unlimited power of the brain.

As we enter 2015, I believe I will push myself and my current beliefs to new boundaries. In these, the last few moments of 2014, let me tell you…I shall open the door for you as I usher you through, for there is another,standing just ajar, waiting for me to open it in just a few moments, and I am excited by what it hides. I believe it will be wonderful. And, 2014…close your door on the way out.